Three Blind Mice
by SMM Feature Contributor, William O’Beirne

I am happy to be a member of the great staff here at Speedway Motorsports Magazine, and look forward to having an opportunity to share my opinions and thoughts from time to time on current automotive events, auto history and future trends.


Like many of you, the current scandals of the Big Three have put my enthusiasm for these companies, at the very least, on the shelf. How could these giants of industry fall from grace, and with such incompetence? When the CEO’s recently appeared before the congressional committee asking for financial loans, a song came to mind that I sang as a child, “Three Blind Mice”. It was torture to watch these men sit there in arrogance, without any comeback or explanatiDetriot Skylineon for the use of their corporate jets, or provide any directional flight plan that would lead them away from the brink of total oblivion. They could have reminded the committee chair that the limo he used to ride to that very same meeting could have been exchanged for a public transit bus, or possibly in D.C. the Metro train system. That is the “Mice” part of the song. The absolute lack of a realistic survival plan was the “Blind” part of the song, and the “Three” part was that not one of them looked liked he knew anything more than one would expect hearing from a maintenance man at any one of their factories about what it would take to pull the fat out of the fire.

Obviously the problems that GM, Ford and Chrysler must now face are many but they began decades ago such as labor management, pension plans, investment in old factories and tooling, and political influence directed at the import tariffs to make a fair playing field for our exports back in the late 60’s and early 70's. There is also the issue of up to date progressive design and model offerings, less duplication, and badge engineering. Implementing these things would have led the automotive world forward instead of having to play catch-up as the result of their own non-thinking mentality. It is so apparent now, as it has been many times before in American history, that we once again find ourselves asleep at the wheel. It’s easy to play the Monday morning automotive CEO, but I feel if I can complain, I must then offer some small idea of a cure. So here it goes.

The first step is to bring back brand loyalty because it's certain there will be less of the Big Three to go around in the future. I really can’t stand the thought of that, but it is obvious some brands must be axed. My guess is Pontiac, Saturn, Hummer, Saab, and then maybe Buick from the GM side. General Motors could easily survive on their flagship line, Cadillac, along with Chevy cars and trucks. As far as Ford is concerned, I cannot understand why the Mercury Division even exists, other than to offer a concession to a franchise owner of a pre-existing Lincoln dealership. For Chrysler, the company my father worked for and the cars I grew up with and rooted for at Daytona, Riverside and Pomona, it is so hard for me to discuss cutting up the corporation even further. Yet I know that Chrysler and Dodge cars are very similar and that trucks will once again serve as a profit center for the company we speak of here. The Chrysler brand, the one that I love and feel the worst about losing is unfortunately too closely tied to words like bailout, bankruptcy, merger, being the smallest of the Big Three and it’s the brand that will likely be eliminated. Dodge cars, Dodge trucks, and the iconic Jeep will continue to survive under the pentastar banner in Auburn Hills, Michigan.

After the slashing of product lines, the rebuilding of brand loyalty is imperative. Dodge, Ford and Chevy must be the first words from every baby’s lips. That is the ultimate goal -- period. Marketing must look to the ‘50’s and ‘60’s for celebrity endorsements, popular songs must be written, huge amounts of time on network TV must be purchased, and the all important September new car preview must return along with spotlights, whitewashed dealership windows, and cars unveiled on turntables lit in dramatic and romantic lighting. Beautiful women in scintillating evening gowns will open car doors for your first glimpse into the interior and the throne behind the magic steering wheel that will take you on many a dream drive over America’s bountiful open roads of discovery.

All that may sound corny but it is so simple and ever so honest in the world of automotive marketing and sales: “Sell the Sizzle”! For too long, we’ve sold cars on the basis of factory discounts, rebates, lower interest rates and miles per gallon. Can you believe that we sell cars by showing them crashing into a wall? Instead of a woman's sultry voice describing the beauty of the line and engineering of the car, we have some old British guy giving you the star rating and your survival possibilities in their cocooned jelly bean with wheels. I have recently seen more romance and emotion in Hoover vacuum cleaner commercials. There is no excitement, no emotion built into the marketing of new cars. Instead, we sell the doom and gloom and how you can survive the “crash”! We’ve lost our way entirely. Imagine that same vacuum cleaner company showing a commercial with the family cat’s tail being run over and caught in the rotating brushes as the wife swipes over the carpet? Maybe it could sling the cat through the glass coffee table top and we would see shards of it spray in slo-mo, as the new 5 star rated "Cat Guard" is touted.

It is a waste of money to air expensive commercials telling the potential customer about the likelihood of them surviving their next inevitable car crash in your product. Leave that demonstration to the sales floor. Commercials need to show the beauty and not the beast.


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